marvelous... day

this week is brought to you by wii active. the last two days have been chock full of suck, but i've also had the wonderful wii active to help me burn some anger. thus far, i have done two days of the 30 day challenge, reached one goal and clocked approximately one hour of total activity. tomorrow is my off day, but i might try to squeeze in 20 minutes anyway. according to the balance board, i've lost 1.8 pounds since the beginning of the month (last time i weighed), but i met my goal. too bad i don't remember what the goal was lol. i did set a new goal since i have my ultimate weight in mind: 20 pounds in six months. i don't think i'll be overreaching given my previous performance. according to the balance board, my deadline is september 25th. this, of course, seems like forever away. however, i'm trying not to let myself get complacent. i think the wii active 30 day challenge is just what i need to jump start me. *fingers crossed* it actually works. my other mini-goals are sort of in limbo. i've been horrible the last few weeks, not balancing my healthy diet. i would love to say "this ends now", but we all know it's not that easy. rather, im taking it one day at a time. wii active keeps track of these little items (water intake, sleep habits, stress levels, etc) so i'm hoping that helps get me back in the groove

i doubt these two days will show on the scale wed, but i'm happy knowing that i at least started. think i can look like this by the end?

;)

[update: i weighed in this morning and now the wii says i've lost 4.4 since march 5th lol]

0.2 down

a small loss, but still a loss. on the one hand, i do wish the number were lower. on the other, i got my hot ass in a new pair of SMALLER jeans today so i'm not focused on the scale. i've never mentioned actual sizes here before so this post will be a bit more revealing (and longer) than usual...

for as long as i can remember, i have been a size 12. somehow i squeezed my booty in them even when i shouldn't have. there are quite a few unflattering pictures of me and my muffintops :p by 2007, i had only one pair of jeans that sorta fit. when i started working for the company i am at now, i told my coworkers that i didn't really wear jeans. no casual fridays for me. not because i didn't want to, but because i was too embarassed about my appearance. it didn't help that our VP was a bitch about appearance and not so subtlely disapproved of my busty ways. god forbid i should roll up to the office with cleavage AND muffintops

after starting weight watchers, i gained a little more confidence and decided to go shopping. i bought about six pairs of size 14s and two pairs of size 16s. i fit most comfortably in the 16s, which is still mortifying considering i had been wearing 12s for at least 10 years prior. denial is great, don't you think? as the weight came off, the 14s got better and better. until the glorious day i bought my skinny jeans it didn't feel quite real wearing those smaller bigger pants. the skinny jeans were still 14s, but theyre a super slim cut, which i was not used to. they fit like a dream... until two weeks later. these days, my skinny jeans sag and my regular jeans gape. i almost lost my pants walking up to my apartment last night! conveniently, my latest old navy package arrived yesterday, and it contains new jeans

new size 12 jeans

i wore them today and felt great. they are a smidge snug, but i still have 20 lbs left to go until goal. i am starting to think that i could actually be a size 10 when i reach that point. i'm not getting my hopes up because it's not about a number persay. however, i won't deny the fact that i would be really fucking happy if it happened. in my head, i haven't been that tiny since i was 10. granted, i wasn't really wearing 10s when i was 10, but it's hard to remember my waify days. i even laughed when i went to renew my license last week. my weight has been a lie for nearly 10 years. to think that i am only four lbs heavier than the day i first got my driver's license is insane to me. the next time i renew, in five years, i will be maintaining my goal weight. i can look that blank faced DMV employee in the face and proudly announce that my weight information is incorrect. "it is too high" :)

in other goings on:

- i joined a weight watchers challenge to eat more fruits and veggies. as the months get warmer, more and more of my favorite things will start to come in season. as you know, i have been HORRIBLE about eating the right amount of fruits and veggies each day. i fell off the proverbial wagon with veggies and water partly because of the move. partly because i'm a lazy pants who keeps forgetting to fill my water bottle/buy produce. i'm hoping this helps me enough that i can get it back into my routine

- this is the last week of my personal 20 in 20 challenge. i did the math earlier on how off i am, but i've forgotten it now. it's around seven lbs i think. as it was pointed out to me several weeks ago, it's not the end of the world. i am becoming increasingly pleased with how far i've come in the (almost) year that i have been on the program. even if i'm only down one lb next week, it is one lb less i have to worry about the week after. one lb closer to my ultimate goal. one lb towards the more healthy me... plus it would put me at the 40 lbs total mark :D yea, you read that number correctly. 40 lbs dropped since april of 2009. that is something to celebrate

- to further boost my progress and accountability (i really need an accountabilibuddy. butters?), i have joined the new group blog in it to gym it. it just started up today and there are already some really great posts. it's a hodge podge of health, fitness and food topics. you should definitely go check it out :)

so how's everyone else doing? well, i hope :)

2.0 down

something is paying off... wish i could put my finger on what it was so i could keep it up. maybe all the shifting and carrying of boxes has kicked in. maybe it was the sticking as close to my daily points as possible. maybe it was getting handsy with the boyfriend... who knows? there's still moving stuff to take care of, but not nearly as much as before. so this week's focus is fully on the food, and this week should be relatively good foodwise. i made basic salmon last night, and some veggie pizza for lunch today. not quite sure what i'm having for dinner tonight; maybe more pizza. we're going out to dinner tomorrow at my favorite restaurant (must start planning now), and i might be going out to lunch with JL. but that's about it for potential overeating... which should come in handy because next weekend will be crazy. beginning with a birthday sleepover on friday (yes, i know we're not 10 :p), followed by brunch and a hockey game on saturday and rounded out by a sleepover (for two) at J's. there will be lots of stuffing my face. good thing i can set up the wii active soon. id do it today, but im feeling far too lazy. this weekend will be full of unpacking, reading and catching up on my shows. im not really thinking about hard core, focused activity; i'll leave that for next week in prep for next weekend :p

susie homemaker

or not :p

i hate cooking intensely; i get it from my mom i think. we're slow cookers, and nothing ever goes quite right. i, being a perfectionist, get extremely discouraged. don't know why, but baking is a totally different experience. owning a kitchen aid stand mixer is like my dream (i refuse to get one until i get married cause that's just how i roll). problem: i need to cook/eat at home more. and not just half meals. im falling back in to my old habits of eating tiny ass meals consisting of a side dish (or snacks like cheese with crackers) because it's easy. N and i have something of an agreement about cooking, but we've yet to really implement it. he's got a million cookbooks, and i have tons of recipes at my disposal. yet we never utilize them. he never knows what to make; i never know what i want. once we get the kitchen set, i think that is going to change rapidly. im going to start scouring N's books for yummy sounding recipes, and checking the weight watcher's friendliness. i can make adjustments as necessary (so far recipes i've altered have not lost their yum factor :)) which is a big plus. to keep me honest, i might post recipes we try each week. cause the goal is to use at least one new recipe a week. possibly more depending on how long each takes to make and how much leftover we have afterward.

i'm definitely anxious. i'm picky and hate trying new things. but i know this is something i/we need to do. thank god for the men in my life though. N and J both cook so if i play my cards right, i'll never have to cook for myself ever again :)

ps - yesterday was not marvelous. all the fucking gloom made me grouchy. however, this has been a super awesome tuesday :)

0.4 up

this was a wee bit unexpected. N and i moved last weekend so there was a lot of carrying, loading and unloading of unlight boxes... there was also some drinking and poor food choices i guess :p it's not my worst week, but it's definitely disappointing. the rest of the week and beginning of this week, i've been sticking as close to my points as possible. since i'm close to the upper threshold, my goal is to not bump back up in daily points. luckily, this won't be as hard as it usually is for me. J is visiting this weekend so i'm doing a lot more cooking than usual. i made salmon with couscous for dinner last night, and i made whole wheat pancakes with low sodium bacon for breakfast today. later, im going to make cookies (hey, i still have my weekly extras :p) and low fat pizzas (on pillsbury crescent rolls lol). all recipes (sans cookies) are courtesy of weight watchers. tomorrow is the big splurge; i'm taking J to my favorite diner for brunchy goodness. the food is costly pointwise, but it's all totally worth it... in other fun news, i got wii active the other day. i'm oddly looking forward to putting together my own workouts, which is so unlike me. with the move, things are kinda off schedule, but maybe after next week, i'll be able to get back on my pseudo workout regimen :)

1.8 down

another decent week on the scale :) i'd like to thank my boyfriend for being awesome. i sorta ate within my points, but got a lot of "activity" in over my 3.5 days with him. we went to a concert on saturday so had dinner out. i only ate half my pasta, which cost me 24 points. add leftover meat lover's pizza, a beer and a baby ben & jerry's for another 25 points extra for the day. oops :p we hit the giant on the way home because he wanted to make burgers sunday. i grabbed extra extra lean beef, 2% cheese slices and burger pickles to keep it healthy. so the burgers (well my one cheeseburger :)) were only 8.5 points with lots of pickles. he also made mac n cheese for 5 points. good thing i had only skim milk and granola bars earlier in the day. so my whole day was 28 points (did i mention i had another mini ben & jerry's?). eh the rest of the week i was either dead on or one point over each day, which balanced nicely

because of this week's loss, i'm officially in a new bracket. that's another point down for my daily intake :) so far so good; only five points over between today and yesterday. for all my whining, i'm not doing that badly. still higher than i want to be, but i'm inching closer toward my tentatively chosen goal. still about 9 lbs away from my mini goal of 150... but remember how i was going to buy a corset when i hit 150? the whole point of the 20 in 20 challenge? yea, im changing that because i don't want to be 150. that's what i weighed 10 years ago, when i got my driver's license. i wasn't very happy then either. fuck that; i'm going for gold. i'm changing my tentative ultimate goal to 130 (which is actually 5 lbs more than originally planned). so that adorable kitty corset will be purchased the week i reach it (or am made of 150 lbs of muscle :p). not a moment sooner. i will also buy new clothes, new shoes and an adorable new coach bag ;)

i won't lie; i'm terrified of shooting for 130. at the same time, a tiny piece of me believes i can do it, and that's enough. thanks for all the recent kicks in the ass, everyone. i seriously reread your comments every couple of days to keep me in a happy place. you guys rock! before this post gets any longer, i'm going to run... to bed :) good day, sir