0.2 down

a small loss, but still a loss. on the one hand, i do wish the number were lower. on the other, i got my hot ass in a new pair of SMALLER jeans today so i'm not focused on the scale. i've never mentioned actual sizes here before so this post will be a bit more revealing (and longer) than usual...

for as long as i can remember, i have been a size 12. somehow i squeezed my booty in them even when i shouldn't have. there are quite a few unflattering pictures of me and my muffintops :p by 2007, i had only one pair of jeans that sorta fit. when i started working for the company i am at now, i told my coworkers that i didn't really wear jeans. no casual fridays for me. not because i didn't want to, but because i was too embarassed about my appearance. it didn't help that our VP was a bitch about appearance and not so subtlely disapproved of my busty ways. god forbid i should roll up to the office with cleavage AND muffintops

after starting weight watchers, i gained a little more confidence and decided to go shopping. i bought about six pairs of size 14s and two pairs of size 16s. i fit most comfortably in the 16s, which is still mortifying considering i had been wearing 12s for at least 10 years prior. denial is great, don't you think? as the weight came off, the 14s got better and better. until the glorious day i bought my skinny jeans it didn't feel quite real wearing those smaller bigger pants. the skinny jeans were still 14s, but theyre a super slim cut, which i was not used to. they fit like a dream... until two weeks later. these days, my skinny jeans sag and my regular jeans gape. i almost lost my pants walking up to my apartment last night! conveniently, my latest old navy package arrived yesterday, and it contains new jeans

new size 12 jeans

i wore them today and felt great. they are a smidge snug, but i still have 20 lbs left to go until goal. i am starting to think that i could actually be a size 10 when i reach that point. i'm not getting my hopes up because it's not about a number persay. however, i won't deny the fact that i would be really fucking happy if it happened. in my head, i haven't been that tiny since i was 10. granted, i wasn't really wearing 10s when i was 10, but it's hard to remember my waify days. i even laughed when i went to renew my license last week. my weight has been a lie for nearly 10 years. to think that i am only four lbs heavier than the day i first got my driver's license is insane to me. the next time i renew, in five years, i will be maintaining my goal weight. i can look that blank faced DMV employee in the face and proudly announce that my weight information is incorrect. "it is too high" :)

in other goings on:

- i joined a weight watchers challenge to eat more fruits and veggies. as the months get warmer, more and more of my favorite things will start to come in season. as you know, i have been HORRIBLE about eating the right amount of fruits and veggies each day. i fell off the proverbial wagon with veggies and water partly because of the move. partly because i'm a lazy pants who keeps forgetting to fill my water bottle/buy produce. i'm hoping this helps me enough that i can get it back into my routine

- this is the last week of my personal 20 in 20 challenge. i did the math earlier on how off i am, but i've forgotten it now. it's around seven lbs i think. as it was pointed out to me several weeks ago, it's not the end of the world. i am becoming increasingly pleased with how far i've come in the (almost) year that i have been on the program. even if i'm only down one lb next week, it is one lb less i have to worry about the week after. one lb closer to my ultimate goal. one lb towards the more healthy me... plus it would put me at the 40 lbs total mark :D yea, you read that number correctly. 40 lbs dropped since april of 2009. that is something to celebrate

- to further boost my progress and accountability (i really need an accountabilibuddy. butters?), i have joined the new group blog in it to gym it. it just started up today and there are already some really great posts. it's a hodge podge of health, fitness and food topics. you should definitely go check it out :)

so how's everyone else doing? well, i hope :)