2.2 down

well ladies (and gentleman) i've hit another major milestone. HUGE loss this week *squee*, which puts me at 51.8 lbs gone since starting weight watchers. i totally didn't think i would hit it this week. with my period starting next week, i anticipated being waterlogged and what not. but nope :D i got a 50 lb charm and magnet (and a ton of bravos lol) at last night's meeting. unfortunately, S wasn't there; that other woman was subbing again so she got to celebrate the accomplishment. i was not pleased, but oh well. S will be all over it next week :) (a week i'll probably gain lol)

so with this loss, i am 14.4 lbs away from my personal goal and 16.4 away from my max BMI. though, i don't give a shit about the BMI. why? because i'm not an unhealthy lardass uncapable of getting out of my home without the assistance of a forklift. i know that's harsh, but i have VERY little sympathy for individuals who let themselves get outrageously overweight because they prefer eating to living. if you have a compulsive drive to overeat, you need to see a fucking therapist. i understand when genetics are not in your favor, if you are put on bed rest for a medical condition (weighing 1000 pounds was NOT your medical condition) or if you've somehow managed to ingest a tapeworm. i do not support your suicide by food. i have been extremely fortunate so i know i'm talking from my high horse. but i'm gonna do it anyway cause i'm the bitch of this blog :p my father has high blood pressure and high cholesterol. my mother is diabetic (type II). both sides of my family are prone to cancers of several types. i do not need to add to my own situation by not taking care of myself. yes, i managed to make it to 196 before i decided to take control, but i took control. i have avoided my family's health history, and i plan to keep doing so for as long as i can. this, to me, does not inherently include landing smack dab in the middle of the "healthy" BMI scale. i have managed to lose a lot of fat along this crazy trip, but i also tend to put on muscle fairly well, mostly in my legs. when i get on the scale at weight watchers, it provides a total number of poundage. it does not breakdown how much of that is fat, muscle and bone. i will never be 125 pounds of pure muscle, but i'm also not going to be 125 pounds of pure fat. so i think it's a bit unfair that i have to hit an exact number based on BMI when they aren't even measuring body make up

of course this rant means nothing to weight watchers because they're taking the easiest route to define goals for a large population. i get that. i just wish it didn't require extra effort on my part to prove what is healthy for me. i may be one of a million, but i'm still an individual... i'm still debating what i will do when i reach my goal. i know i'm going to need the continual support starting out, but... i don't want to pay for it and i don't want to have to fight a bitch to get what i want. i know what they'll ask me to do, but i think it's stupid and unnecessary. medical issues didn't bring me to weight watchers so i don't think it's fair that i need a doctor's note to officially terminate my financial relationship

...now that i've turned this celebration into an angerball ramble, i'm gonna go stare at wedding dresses and engagement rings. i'm helping someone plan a proposal (it's hilarious because the couple are complete strangers to me :)), and now i'm all swoony for weddings