0.4 down

part of me thinks i should be reflecting on my current progress. large steps back and inching forward. i know it's because i haven't worked out at all since the end of august*. and i've been eating like crap. throw my period in to the mix, and it's a hodge podge of fatty fatness. i know what i have to do, but doing it takes so much effort. i already made time; i just need to muster up the energy to care

because the other part of me is that part that doesn't care. it just wants to nap and eat cheetos all day. let's call that part my uterus. i hate the week before i actually start. i'm typically up (or a tiny bit down) because i retain water like a spongebob square camel. just thinking about getting on the treadmill makes me tired. honestly, i'm fighting the urge right now to crawl under my desk to sleep for the next six hours. i'm gonna have three snacks today: tomato with fresh mozzarella (currently munching), baked salt & vinegar chips and a reduced fat granola bar. i'll still be hungry after that (plus my sandwich) so i'll probably have a cookie with dinner. i don't like playing this game with my body, but it's unavoidable. in the past, i've been better at fitting in cravings without sacrificing a thousand points. i've been over my daily limit more times than not in the last month. and two weeks ago, i exceeded my weekly points. i know i'm not going to lose every week or at the same rate month to month. but it's still disheartening to know that, exactly 50 weeks ago, i hit my 10% target. since that week, i've dropped 33.2 pounds (average 0.66 pounds/week). i hit 140 three weeks ago (12 pounds away from goal), and now i'm back up to 142.6. sabotaged by my own body. i'm already losing definition in my tush, and my belly is still as round as ever. i know i'm being nitpicky, but it's just so frustrating

*sigh* things will be better after this week. i'm typically less mopey and fatigued once my period starts. all those excess hormones also get shed... or something. tonight, i am going to do 45 minutes of cardio. saturday, i am going to get back on the treadmill. these things must happen; i hate letting my body best me :p

*i was in a minor accident on the 29th; a fender bender that left me with soreness and tension in my back. i was too nervous about doing any additional damage so i took a break from training/workouts. i'm feeling so much better after seeing my chiropractor the last couple weeks